I am not looking forward to seeing my dentist tomorrow about the issue of low enamel and a possible chipped tooth from said low enamel. I saw an endocrinologist last week about hair loss and low vitamin levels and sluggish metabolic rate, because multiple organs responsible for endocrine function just gave up a few years ago, and also I’ve damaged my intestines and don’t absorb food the way I should. On a related note, I went to the ER twice two weeks ago because of inflammation in my stomach, related to said above inability to digest my food properly. My diet has been limited as a result, and I’m finding the online vegan community pretty awesome as I adjust to this new challenge while ensuring that I am keeping up with macro and micro nutrient requirements.
I know many have it worse. I know that many people get out of the other end of anorexia with heart issues or bone issues. I know that many die young, or just never recover and live their lives in agony. I am HAPPY to have a healthy relationship with food and to have a family and husband who are extraordinarily supportive. I am SO happy that I was able to have very healthy children. I am happy that, for the most part, my body IS healthy and so beautiful and it mostly works and functions and takes me to wonderful places (like the starts of races!). But, I am also sad, because I am 32 and all like hashtagoldlady.
This is actually why I write these blog posts, and why I share these recipes and talk about eating positively and eating healthily. There is a lot of, for lack of a better term, crap out there on blogs talking about juice fasting or cutting out carbs or kimchi diets or going gluten free for no damn good reason at all. They separate food into “clean” and then other, like food has an inherent value attached to it. Like if you eat the wrong food, you are “unclean” or “bad.” It is the wild wild west of bad advice and 1 million ways to feel really crappy about yourself.
So, here is a picture of me when I was anorexic. I hope this will be taken as it is, a pretty sad picture. And what is sadder is not the size I was or that my bicep is nearly as big as my waist, but that at the time this photo was taken, I was trying to determine if I was too fat to be seen in public.
I want to remind everyone to eat lots of whole grains, lots of fruits and veggies, healthy fats, good lean proteins, and to also allow yourself that cookie when you want it. Food nourishes our bodies and our minds, and helps both work properly. Get out and enjoy that your body WORKS. It’s glorious. Feed it. You all deserve to be happy, healthy people for your whole lives. A healthy body and a healthy mind are privileges, and I hope those each of you blessed with one can treat it with all of the respect it deserves.
And with that, I share with you one of my favorite recipes, the Original Nestle Tollhouse Cookie recipe. Make it, with whatever allergy modifications you may need, share it with those who you love, and think of how happy you are to be healthy and whole.